A tragedy...a shock....
In my last post I wrote about a synchronicity which was meaningful enough to get me to return to post to my blog after a two-and-a-half-year hiatus. The synch I described was related to my strong connection to a colleague, which became even stronger over this past month, June and July 2016. Earlier this month I was struck by the sudden realization that he was married to my old therapist...a therapist who changed my life and was integral to one of my first major synchronicities in 2011, a turning point in my life which I wrote about here (in the post I referred to my therapist as a friend--she was the one who told me I was between a rock and a hard place and also the one who had recommended Lerner's book).
On July 4th I got to attend a party and sit down with my colleague and my old therapist. I gave her a book about the use of synchronicity in therapy and a letter describing the role she had played in my transformation. I was eager to sit down with my colleague after the party and find out if I had embarrassed him or caused any awkwardness. But he was on vacation the week of the 4th and I was at a conference the week of the 11th. Yesterday was our first chance to chat since the party. He stopped by my office. He was overwhelmed and stressed out and couldn't stay long to talk. We decided to meet for coffee later in the week when he had more time. I rambled on about something silly as he stood outside my office door...he was in a hurry to get on to the next thing. I wish I had focused and stuck to something more meaningful. I wish I had offered him something to get him to relax and be happy on his last day.
This morning my colleague was hit by a car while riding his bike. He died this morning.
I didn't find out until after 11 this morning. On my way in to work at 7:40 I was driving in on the road where the accident had happened an hour before. It was on a busy highway right outside his neighborhood and the road was closed so I had to backtrack to get to work by another route. Several hours later I got an email announcing the tragedy. After some moments of shock I decided to go home early.
I returned by the road where the accident occurred. I pulled over and picked a bouquet of wildflowers. I walked out towards the road and suddenly felt afraid because the cars were coming past so fast and I didn't want to cause a second tragedy. I stopped at the intersection and laid the bouquet on the ground on the corner...but they weren't enough...I couldn't tell where the accident had happened...there were no skid marks so I didn't know if I was putting them in the right place. I had a vision of picking the entire field of black eyed susans, which were in full bloom at the edge of his neighborhood, and covering both shoulders of the road over the 300 foot distance where he might have been hit. I wanted his wife to know that she was not alone in her mourning. A few minutes later it started to rain. I got back in my car and started to drive one last time over the road where it had happened. And then I went home to try to work out what it all means...because there must be some layer of meaning hidden in this story. Some reason why I reconnected with my old therapist 4 or 5 years after I last saw her; connected via her husband in the same month she became a widow.
On July 4th I got to attend a party and sit down with my colleague and my old therapist. I gave her a book about the use of synchronicity in therapy and a letter describing the role she had played in my transformation. I was eager to sit down with my colleague after the party and find out if I had embarrassed him or caused any awkwardness. But he was on vacation the week of the 4th and I was at a conference the week of the 11th. Yesterday was our first chance to chat since the party. He stopped by my office. He was overwhelmed and stressed out and couldn't stay long to talk. We decided to meet for coffee later in the week when he had more time. I rambled on about something silly as he stood outside my office door...he was in a hurry to get on to the next thing. I wish I had focused and stuck to something more meaningful. I wish I had offered him something to get him to relax and be happy on his last day.
This morning my colleague was hit by a car while riding his bike. He died this morning.
I didn't find out until after 11 this morning. On my way in to work at 7:40 I was driving in on the road where the accident had happened an hour before. It was on a busy highway right outside his neighborhood and the road was closed so I had to backtrack to get to work by another route. Several hours later I got an email announcing the tragedy. After some moments of shock I decided to go home early.
I returned by the road where the accident occurred. I pulled over and picked a bouquet of wildflowers. I walked out towards the road and suddenly felt afraid because the cars were coming past so fast and I didn't want to cause a second tragedy. I stopped at the intersection and laid the bouquet on the ground on the corner...but they weren't enough...I couldn't tell where the accident had happened...there were no skid marks so I didn't know if I was putting them in the right place. I had a vision of picking the entire field of black eyed susans, which were in full bloom at the edge of his neighborhood, and covering both shoulders of the road over the 300 foot distance where he might have been hit. I wanted his wife to know that she was not alone in her mourning. A few minutes later it started to rain. I got back in my car and started to drive one last time over the road where it had happened. And then I went home to try to work out what it all means...because there must be some layer of meaning hidden in this story. Some reason why I reconnected with my old therapist 4 or 5 years after I last saw her; connected via her husband in the same month she became a widow.
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