Past, Present, & Future Coexist in the Unconscious
Tonight I watched the first episode of the TV series "Touch". It gave me shivers. It was absolutely gorgeous (though at points I was rolling my eyes over some of the drama and use of stereotypes).
I watched it because my husband (who has always been critical of my synchronicity experiences) told me that there was a show about my subject. He has already watched the first 24 episodes. He told me it gets better after the first episode (which he also rolled his eyes at).
He came in when I was about halfway through and asked me if I understood what it was about. He said it was about this idea that there are four times: the past, the present, the future, and the "now"--which is different from the present because it is everything rolled into one. And I kind of knew what he was talking about because that's how synchronicities sometimes make me feel--like I've glimpsed that connection between everything, stepped outside of time. After he left, I thought to myself that I wanted to figure out who had written about the topic of "now" as described by my husband.
Rather than jumping right into the second episode I found myself thinking intently about Frank Conroy and his book "Stop-Time". About 11 years ago I went to a gala put on by the Des Moines Public Library to honor Iowa authors. That year Frank Conroy was one of the 4 or so authors being honored. Before the dinner and speeches there was a silent auction and an opportunity to purchase books and have the authors sign them. I was clueless that it was the authors sitting behind their stacks of books--I was rudely picking the books up, flipping through them, and returning them to the piles while the authors watched me, probably in agony as I tossed away their books with no intention to buy them. I was glancing through one when Frank stopped me and said, "here, this is the one you want--I'll give it to you". He handed me his book, "Body & Soul" and signed it for me.
In the months that followed, I thought about Frank a lot. Just a few months later he died and I attended a memorial service for him. As a reader, I often start things and don't finish them and that was the case with the book Frank gave me. I made it about halfway through "Body & Soul" and then decided that I was more interested in another of Frank's books "Stop-Time" which I ordered or found in a used book store (I can't remember which). But I didn't get very far into that one either. I filed both away for another day.
I was primed to start thinking about Frank again a few weeks ago. I was standing outside of my library where I have worked for the past couple of years--I think I may have gotten locked out and I was waiting for security to let me in. So I had a few minutes to waste. Outside of the library there is a life-size bronze statue of a man reading a book. I have looked at this statue several times, but this day I happened to observe it more closely. I decided to look over the statue's shoulder at the book he was reading. I was shocked when I saw that the page had real words on it and even more shocked when I realized that it was an actual book and that the book was "Stop-Time". I decided at that moment to dig out the book and actually read it. Later in the week I was walking through the foyer of my library and realized that there was a photograph of Frank Conroy on the wall with a little note about his book being used in the statue out front.
So tonight after watching the first episode of Touch I said to myself "now is the moment to dig out "Stop-Time"." So I went into a far corner of my basement where I have a shelf of books covered in spider webs. I pulled out "Body & Soul" and "Stop-Time". And then, after a long conversation with my husband, I started reading. On page 19, 9 pages into the book, Frank mentions as an aside: "(past, present, and future coexist in the unconscious, says Freud)".
It was my husband's definition of the "now", attributed. Just 10 minutes after I had decided I needed to go and read these sources to better understand what my husband was referring to--after I had wondered how I was going to do a search for it without knowing the right keywords. Did my unconscious remember reading those words 10 years ago and know that this was where an answer waited for me?
I watched it because my husband (who has always been critical of my synchronicity experiences) told me that there was a show about my subject. He has already watched the first 24 episodes. He told me it gets better after the first episode (which he also rolled his eyes at).
He came in when I was about halfway through and asked me if I understood what it was about. He said it was about this idea that there are four times: the past, the present, the future, and the "now"--which is different from the present because it is everything rolled into one. And I kind of knew what he was talking about because that's how synchronicities sometimes make me feel--like I've glimpsed that connection between everything, stepped outside of time. After he left, I thought to myself that I wanted to figure out who had written about the topic of "now" as described by my husband.
Rather than jumping right into the second episode I found myself thinking intently about Frank Conroy and his book "Stop-Time". About 11 years ago I went to a gala put on by the Des Moines Public Library to honor Iowa authors. That year Frank Conroy was one of the 4 or so authors being honored. Before the dinner and speeches there was a silent auction and an opportunity to purchase books and have the authors sign them. I was clueless that it was the authors sitting behind their stacks of books--I was rudely picking the books up, flipping through them, and returning them to the piles while the authors watched me, probably in agony as I tossed away their books with no intention to buy them. I was glancing through one when Frank stopped me and said, "here, this is the one you want--I'll give it to you". He handed me his book, "Body & Soul" and signed it for me.
In the months that followed, I thought about Frank a lot. Just a few months later he died and I attended a memorial service for him. As a reader, I often start things and don't finish them and that was the case with the book Frank gave me. I made it about halfway through "Body & Soul" and then decided that I was more interested in another of Frank's books "Stop-Time" which I ordered or found in a used book store (I can't remember which). But I didn't get very far into that one either. I filed both away for another day.
I was primed to start thinking about Frank again a few weeks ago. I was standing outside of my library where I have worked for the past couple of years--I think I may have gotten locked out and I was waiting for security to let me in. So I had a few minutes to waste. Outside of the library there is a life-size bronze statue of a man reading a book. I have looked at this statue several times, but this day I happened to observe it more closely. I decided to look over the statue's shoulder at the book he was reading. I was shocked when I saw that the page had real words on it and even more shocked when I realized that it was an actual book and that the book was "Stop-Time". I decided at that moment to dig out the book and actually read it. Later in the week I was walking through the foyer of my library and realized that there was a photograph of Frank Conroy on the wall with a little note about his book being used in the statue out front.
So tonight after watching the first episode of Touch I said to myself "now is the moment to dig out "Stop-Time"." So I went into a far corner of my basement where I have a shelf of books covered in spider webs. I pulled out "Body & Soul" and "Stop-Time". And then, after a long conversation with my husband, I started reading. On page 19, 9 pages into the book, Frank mentions as an aside: "(past, present, and future coexist in the unconscious, says Freud)".
It was my husband's definition of the "now", attributed. Just 10 minutes after I had decided I needed to go and read these sources to better understand what my husband was referring to--after I had wondered how I was going to do a search for it without knowing the right keywords. Did my unconscious remember reading those words 10 years ago and know that this was where an answer waited for me?
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